funny

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
>children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the
>corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the
>knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you
are an
>expert shot.
>You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>What do you do?
>
>....................................................................
>
>Democrat's Answer:
>
>Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the
man
>look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
>inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think?
What
>about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the
>knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the
>Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a
loaded gun
>anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my
>children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he
>definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I
>were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was
>stabbing me? Should I call 911? Why is this street so deserted? We
need to
>raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier
>street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing!
I
>need to debate this with some friends for a
>few days and try to come to a consensus.
>
>...................................................................
>
>Republican's Answer:
>
>BANG!
>
>....................................................................
>
>Southerner's Answer:
>
>BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click................
> (sounds of reloading.) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
>BANG! click.
>
>Daughter:
>"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
>Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
>
>Son:
>"Can I shoot the next one?"
>
>"Wife:
>You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"

sing through memory lane

tell me if you know the songs, bet u dont know all of them! ok so the stories are kind of messed up but i needed to put the songs in there somehow! also the words might be slightly changed to fit the story. all the songs are in quotes.

a trip down pop lane:
"a long long time a go i can still remember" when i would "put my hand upon your hip" and we would dance for hours infron tof the mirror "anyone can see the road that we walked on was paved in gold its always summer, we never got cold, never got hungry, never got old and gray". everything seemed "coposetic" until one day you told me you were leaving and you said "save tonight, and fight the brake of dawn, come tomorow, tomorow i'll be gone" we tried but the next morning you wer gone i thought to myself "i hate the world today". i started crying "where o where can my babe be, the L-rd took her away from me" . day in day out i went about my mondane activities but the nights were the hardest because "another night another dream but always you, its like a vision of love that seems to be true" but then i'ld wake up and it was all a dream. until one day at the coffe shop this girl asked me out so i told her "if you wanna be my lover" you have to give me something that i've always wanted because "all that i want is another babe". so we decided to take it slow and went into the candy store, she asked do you smell that when i said know she said, "i smell and sex and candy here" and for the first time we kissed. for the first time in my life "i saw the sign" and things were so clear. i dont know how she could like me "because i'm teenage dirtbag babe" but "she like me for me" . i guess life it funny like that,"its somethng unpredictable, but in the end its right" and it wasnt over yet. when i got home there was a surprise waiting for me at my door it was ex and she said "you still my sunshine". that's my story but "trust me on the sunscreen"

a trip down country lane:
this is the story of agirl who "she's gone country". one day when i was "telling my dreams to the scarecrow" and eating soem BBQ we were talking about "where i come from" when all of a sudden my hand slipped and "i got staind on my white t-shirt" and then along came none onther than bobby jo and said, nice going fipsy, well "fancy was my name" so i yelled at him "kiss this, and i dont mean on my rosy red lips" he quickly turned around and said i used to pray that you would like me but now "i thank G-d for unanswered prayers". well that got me mad, and i said; how do you expect me to compete with your 400 girlfriends," #5 just cries a river on end, 7 wants to tie you up and drown you in again 13, just wants to say so long by gones, 32 wants to do things to you that will make you blush" then b4 i knew it, he was right next to me sayin,you know "my love is deeper then the holler, stronger than the wind blows, and honest a robin on springtime window sill and longer the song of wipper will" so what do you say will youcome with me to the "concrete angel" dance we're only "young" once? "and i said yes, and he said wow, i said when, and he said how about right now." and "we danced" after he asked me "how do you like me now" but before i could answer "the thunder rolled and the lightning striked" we ran for cover under a tree an i told him what my grandma told me everytime it rained that "there's holes in the floor of heaven and tears are comming down" he responded that they better be putin in a good word for us because "we need some help, down here on earth" and we both lauphed! i looked into his eyes and said, thank you. he looked into mine and said "you dont owe me a thing, i've been there too" out of no where, he grabbed my arm and said lets "run through a two lane highway...cuz it sure looks like a good day to run." i said are yo crazy i'm gonna go home and "praying for daylight waitin for that morning sun" a with that i was off.

now for all you angster fans out there's here;s my version of the friday night list, if i made any errors keep them to yourself!:)
Tottie- "Hashem made an angel"Ema- "the little bird"/ "another day"
Etty-"the 59th street gang"
chanie-she doesnt have one; we have to get her one!
yehuda-" hue klalyankel/jo demajios card"(basicaly any journeys song)
frumie- "the sun is going down"
pesh-every song
sa'adia-"my zaide lived with us in our parents....he spoke about his life in rehab"
muskha-some song from camp that no one knows
yosef-"i was made way back in 1842"
menachm-"moshiach lechem oomasaiyem>"
shterna-"you've got to show the world/ kole am mispalel"

hey everyone, i know long time no write; i know you guys were probably checkin the post every day to see if i posted anything. actually I just remembered no one was waiting because in fact Chanie had posted consistently while I was busy getting my life back together in Cali

and I wasn't actaully waiting for chanie to post the pics from the wedding because she actually posted them I was just too busy and uninterested to check but u know me - always underestimating Chanie, wow she did it even when she was busy, busy busy!:) we love you Chanie

anyway just thought this pic was nice, reminds us that its not what we actually are but how we view ourselves that counts. have agood shabbos luv ya

and while we are talking k0ol...

These are my other favorites...talk about building an ice castle...

How K0ol...literally!

Hey so I figure words are pretty dull - pictures on the other hand... check out these:
They are made out of ice!! Fill this ice cube tray and VOILA - ice shot glasses!!


so if any of you out there are wondering just what to get me for Chanukah - look no further these rock!! And forget ice - i'm thinking coke to fill or how bout a screwdriver where the O.J. is the glass? C'mon now doesnt that take jello shots to a whole new level?

MY BOY!

Soooo....while I'm at it I figure I'll post a random pic of the world's hottest 3.5 month old - no bias involved dont worry

MWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Pesh - B'more's Finest

And that my friends is Peshie on the right - ain't she a beauty.