.com

today was super and lovely and splendid! as the birds chirped and the wind blew a warm spring breeze - we found hosting! we exist, we exist - tell the world! after tailing behind competitors and watching our grand ideas be developed by others - we're ready to show the world our beautiful posh faces! ooo ooo i can't wait to wake up in the morning and type in those wonderful words www.com! and there we shall be! really a business venture should be frightening or at the very least unnerving but we are way too far in for that - if we stop and think about it - we'll fall apart - now its move forward or die .... i think this was one giant leap forward - heck if i were armstrong i'd say something like, "one small step for posh - one giant step for womankind" but i'm not - so i wont. it sounds cheesy anyway.

well this feeling is bound to pass and i'll go back to having conversations with rochel like:

but while the moment lasts - i shall revel in it.

...another posh beginning...

gold digger

there's an unwritten rule to digging for treasure - if you're looking for treasure, you'll never find it but when you least expect it you'll strike gold.

many days I searched for gold. I found dirt. days I ached only to be soil faced but empty handed.

today I searched for dirt. I found gold. buried deep - but glistening bright. a precious piece of gold and ruby and diamond - a relic of the past. a treasure found.

Tohu II

on that Tohu thought, I wonder - is the story of the creation not just Pesach Cleaning big scale?
Step 1: Oros of Tohu were too much for this world and there is sheviras hakelim
Step 2: Oros of Tohu scattered and hidden and Oros of Tikkun invested into the world so that it could last and function
Step 3: Our job - to rectify the world by placing the Oros of Tohu in the kelim of Tikkun.

Or in other words:
Step 1: There is way too much stuff for one person/home to handle in fact there's so much it doesnt even fit into the storage containers we have but its far too precious to get rid of
Step 2: Down to the basement it goes ...hidden & scattered...and meanwhile we live our lives with fewer precious resources in a more functional manner
Step 3: Our (Pesach) job - go out to the container store and purchase those kelim in order to elevate our homes by unearthing all that wonderful, exciting stuff and organizing it in an orderly fashion.

G-d we're so on the same page!

Reclaiming my life from the forces of Tohu

ahhh .. its that time of year when the comforting smell of 409 wafts through the air and my sleeves are permanently pushed up to my elbows, leaving my arms poised and ready to scour anything that doesnt move away fast enough - the time when my all too short bouts of sleep are filled with dreaming of a little island that's already clean for Pesach where I can live out my days in peace.

It is in this tumultous time that we are given the gift of our freedom. Freedom not only from actual slavery in Egypt both internal and external, but freedom from those piles of papers we will take care of one day, freedom from hoarding anything that might possibly be sentimental and freedom from unmatched socks waiting in piles to be paired - what a gift- to reclaim your life, reorganize, and make that yearly hachlata to be better, neater and more organized this year.

It's a chance to refocus on the world's general purpose, in my own life- to take the forces and energy- that boundless mass of strength, ideas and enthusiam - of Tohu and channel them into an order of Tikkun, practically fit them into life. Slowly, box by box, room by room, and day by day - I am reclaiming by life and rejoicing in a fresh start...

mirrors of copper

I went to see one of my favorite people today. It had been a while since we had spent time together. She hasnt been well and is exhausted easily. But today I went to spend the morning with her. When I got to the house I peeked into her room. She was busy with something. I heard her ask for her purse and I watched. She took out a lipstick, then blush. She propped her mirror up on her knees just so and carefully applied her makeup - slowly, shakily. Then she reached for a comb and styled her hair. Then she was finished - I walked in.

As we spoke I couldnt help but notice her bedside table. There was a glass of water, some pills, tissues, and her mirror. And I recognized her mirror.

It was a mirror of copper. And one day it will form the copper laver of our Holy Temple.

talking to no one

if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears - does it make a sound?


if you talk and no one listens - did you say anything?

The Tefillin Knot

We ask G-d to know Him & He turns His back
And there in lies everything:

two leather straps
intertwined, one another
each represent a ray
revelation in its essence
chessed & gevurah
right & left
and when tied
part is revealed,
part concealed
but together
-a perfect unity

Fasting for Esther

Zeidy: This one's for you.

Man doesnt choose when their time is up - if they did - we'd never die. Instead they are taken suddenly with little chance to protest. But if you were to choose the day out of all the days of the year - Zeidy I think you chose yours.
I remember it was Adar - the month of joy. We came to New York to see you - they didnt let me in because I was too small but everyone said it was better that way. They all forced smiles and said you'd be fine - but I knew better. I heard them say that your lungs were failing that instead of air they filled with water- so I thought, " just dont drink water." But your not drinking water made your kidneys stop working - so I thought, "just drink orange juice." Rochel sat in the waiting room with me - we felt so old, so mature - why couldnt we come see you - I imagined I'd make you laugh, or smile or just hold your hand. But the nurses said no. It was hard to sit there being sad - there were other kids around and they were all talking and playing - I knew I shouldnt be playing so I just watched. When we left I said goodbye. I don't know if you heard me through the elevator doors and down the hall.

We drove back home and some days passed - you waited. We thought about you all the time and davened and hoped - and you waited.
And then your day came - it was Taanis Esther. I know you didnt want us to be sad so you picked a day that had its own somberness. You picked a day that is followed by joy. Well it was a different Purim that year - it was bitter cold - I know you wanted it that way so that your levaya would be quick. Some people tried to make jokes - to cheer us up - their jokes were hollow - even I didnt laugh. Afterwards we went back to the house - the one that was full of memories and stories and you. We heard the megillah and had a seuda - but it was different and strange - were we supposed to be happy? You wanted us to be.

Each year Taanis Esther is different for our family. Its not just a fast. Its a day full of memories and heartache - I know you dont like that part.

Well this year is different - it's special. This year on your yartzeit we dont fast. This year is Shabbos and so we celebrate. I think this year is your year.

reunited

gasp - pennie is together, sitting side by side at the computer - ok it helps that peshie's computer is broken and she had to use chanie as her local internet cafe - p.s. that's a whole world that screams Israel that this country is missing...carrying on though - it's official....

pennie has decided on their purim costume! so of course we considered the couples bit - but seeing as we wont be together the whole purim - it'll be only half the fun so instead we decided to work the play on words theme
soooo... drumroll please....

Peshie is being "G-d's Gift to Man"

Chanie is "Expressing Herself in Words"

cmon let your imaginations run wild - see if you can figure out what that's gunna look like
and stay tuned for pictures!

Have a wonderful, joyful, shotful or full shot PURIM!

love,
Pennie