my friend,
i saw you through your open window. you left it open just a crack, enough to see you hurting, not enough to hold you tight. i watched you from a distance - one that i had created but one i couldnt take away. but i stood there watching, taking it all in. i picked up on every comment, each waver, every vacillation, each change. you said things didnt matter but in your heart you know they did. i watched you accept so readily and now give up even faster. i saw you leave so much behind - reaching for something more comfortable, more familiar. but that which you have left behind is what is most familiar to you. there are so many things i wish to tell you, to explain, to go back and change. its too late now- this i know. but i must share with you somethings you dont. know that every time i think of you i'm overcome with sweet, sweet memories. know that when i hear your name i smile. know that i am so proud of you for all the smart things you say, the good grades you get, the arguments you start. know that i remember all those words you spoke in the wee hours of the morning. know that every time i run i think of how you're faster. know that i pray for you - hoping, begging that you find yourself and happiness. but most of all know how much it hurts me to see you hurting, how much i feel at fault, how much i'd give to change things. know that next time you fall, i hope i'm there to catch you.
love always,
your friend
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3 comments:
what bout u prevent the next fall?
and what bout u remind me to read ur blog more often?
ahh preventing a fall - but how to do it and when to do it and what if there's no opening big enough to let me in and what if i'm so far away i'll only recognize a fall when its in progress and what if i just found entirely too many excuses when you are 100% right
and what about you told me its not worth readin cuz no one comments ...but glad to see you're reading anyway sab!
:p
(and hatzlacha rabba...)
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